When is OK to Put Yourself First?

The Victim Zone: Breaking Free from Conditioning

For years, I found myself asking:

• When is it going to be my turn?

• When do I get to do the things I want?

• Why is life so hard?

  
  

I had no problem seeing the needs of others. I was always there to offer a helping hand. But after giving too much, I fell into the Victim Zone—thinking, "What about me?"

Why was I so quick to prioritize the needs of others, yet so hesitant to put myself first? Why did I believe that focusing on my own desires was selfish? Was it something I truly believed, or was it simply conditioning that had been ingrained in me?

And here's the question I had to face: Do I want to continue this pattern?

I wanted the desires of my heart to be realized, but those desires couldn’t come to fruition unless I made myself a priority. I had to shift from the idea of obligation and responsibility for everyone else to truly honoring myself.

What Happens When My Desires Conflict?

The next layer of my struggle was: What happens when my desires conflict with those of someone I care about?

I asked myself, Who am I responsible for?

This is the real issue: Responsibility—being morally or legally bound to do something.

We often get so caught up in fulfilling responsibilities for others, thinking we must take care of them at all costs. But when does that stop serving our own purpose?

Seeking Unbounded Power

Deep inside, I knew my soul was calling me to something bigger—Unbounded Power. I couldn’t ignore it. I had to keep peeling back layers to reveal the freedom I sought. I wanted freedom, and I was determined to find it.

Over the years, I had absorbed so many external pressures—religion, culture, societal norms—that kept me in a box, focused on fulfilling obligations that were never meant for me to carry. These forces led me to places of unhappiness, stress, toxic relationships, and unfulfilling careers. They were draining, and I felt like I was always running on empty.

But then, I found the tools to break the cycle. I discovered freedom, happiness, healing, and joy. You can too.

Breaking the Cycle

Through coaching, I guide my clients to uncover the same patterns. One of my clients, for instance, realized her compulsion to put others first stemmed from parentification, a childhood experience where she took on adult responsibilities, like protecting her mother from her father.

This role reversal disrupted her emotional growth and left her carrying burdens far too heavy for a child. It robbed her of her joy and lightness, leaving her feeling like life was about being good and doing the right thing.

Recognizing this through coaching helped her break free. She started living life on her own terms, speaking her truth, making career choices aligned with her purpose, and building flourishing relationships.

My Own Journey

I, too, have experienced this transformation. I pivoted from a life of heaviness to one of peace and joy. People began noticing the shift in me. They commented on how relaxed and light I seemed. I didn’t even realize how much weight I had been carrying until it was gone.

But I’m still growing. I’m still digging deeper, continually rising to new heights. I am determined to live a life of abundance and purpose. Why? Because my calling dictates me to do so. This can be true for you too.

Are You Called?

This is the question I leave you with: Are you called to Unbound yourself from beliefs and behaviors that no longer serve you? Are you ready to prioritize yourself, embrace your journey, and live a life of purpose, freedom, and abundance?

If you’re ready to break out of the cycle you've been in and reclaim your unapologetic power, then I invite you to a Strategy Call where we will uncover some hidden truths.

I offer private coaching that is confidential, transformative, and tailored just for you. You don’t have to keep trying to fit into a mold that never suited you. With my support, you’ll rise to the next level of your impact, influence, and destiny. 

Time to break free from the conditioning that’s been holding you back,  so let’s talk. Book your Strategy Call now and start reclaiming the life you were meant to lead.